| people are complaining about the heat, but i cant -- i've been waiting for this for so long. i dont care that i'm a little uncomfortable in the heat and i'm sticky and gross in sweat. it feels good! ask me again in july .. or tomorrow when i have to go to work.
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| i've had a number of new people come into my life over the past couple years. some of them have grown to be really close friends, who i expect to be with me to my last days. Others have already come and gone, which i comfortably accept.
i had a really good memorial day weekend. it was just what i needed... lots of sleep, good food, meaningful conversations, laughing at honesty (because it is really funny when someone actually says truthful things), etc. one conversation i had over brunch today with a new friend and an old friend was about the capacity one has for close friendships... i dont believe the normal person can have many close friends. i cant quantify it, but i suspect it can only be a handful. friendships are not effortless, they take work, just like any relationship - history, events, whatever arent enough to keep it together. i think my circle of friends are understanding and excuse me, explaining that i am really (too) busy... but i have to confess that i've passively let a lot of my close friendships fall to the wayside because of this "busyness" and it kind of breaks my heart when i'm reminded of it. i'm not sure how to fix it (please dont give me tips or advice)... but it weighs heavy on my mind tonight.
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| "an unforgiving heart is a sign that you dont believe in the gospel."
"if you dont forgive, you're making yourself hard, self centered, miserable, hard.. you're locking yourself in jail."
"you make them pay, or you can pay"
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| i want to rebel against having to curl my hair.
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| i think sometimes we expect too much in other people - logic, fairness, honesty, faithfulness, affection. it's just too much to ask. i mean, after all, we are all imperfect. have i always been rational, true, loyal, caring? certainly not. i'm just grateful that despite it all, i am still loved and fully accepted by one. incredible, really.
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